Bachelorette’s Week 6: Time to have the Aaron Rodgers Talk

In the Bachelorette’s week 6 the gang’s time in Buenos Aires comes to close with the men having a conversation about the unconventional rose ceremony from the previous week. That can’t be comfortable for Alex and James Taylor to know they both sort of got consolation roses. Alex gets the first of three one-on-one dates. This rubs Chase the wrong way, because, well, it seems everything does.

As Alex departs for his date with Jojo, the guys board some insane bus. We need to stop for a moment and discuss the guy’s rap session on the bus. It seems painfully well rehearsed. None of them look particularly cool. This is where we miss Chad and his ability to shut that crap down.

Alex and Jojo bond over snack foods and speculating about what kinds of crops they are driving through. It’s not exactly steamy. After a great deal of complaining about not getting a one on one date Alex doesn’t really seem to have much to talk about. The date is at a ranch where they get to be “gauchos”. Alex doesn’t like his gaucho getup he has to wear, which seems insecure, because it’s a pretty dope look. He’s got a little knife and everything. Wait! Did that guy just put a sleeperhold on a horse? Crazy. These gaucho guys should have their own show. Despite some luke-warm sentiments from Jojo and a little smooching between the two, it seems like Jojo bonded more with the horse than with Alex on this date.

Luke says the ultra-posh polo club the other guys wind up at is a good place to “get some perspective”. Ok, sure. But you would be the first person to get a good perspective on life at a polo club.

Alex initially feels like his date went well and is excited about the prospect of bringing Jojo back to the tree where is elf family lives next week on the hometown visits. I’m sure they will whip up a fresh batch of cookies for Jojo. But then Alex makes a strategic error by being the the second to drop the L-bomb on Jojo. It backfire spectacularly. He forces Jojo’s hand and she has to tell him that she does not feel the same way. He’s a goner. Fire the cannon, we just lost the tribute from the Shire (yes, I know those are two different franchises). It is clear from this moment that Jojo already has much stronger feelings for…someone else.

In the Bachelorette's week 6 the gang’s time in Buenos Aires comes to close

On to Jordan’s date. It is immediately clear how much more chemistry he has with Jojo, than say, Alex. Turns out they are on a foot-fetishists dream date, crushing grapes barefoot at a winery. Then they just scoop up the crushed stuff and start drinking it. I’m 95% certain they know that’s not how wine works, but I’m not 100%…

At dinner, we get the big reveal that most fans, at least most male fans, have been waiting for. Aaron Rodgers will not be present on the hometown date (half of Wisconsin just changed the channel). It is revealed that Jordan and his middle brother Aaron don’t really get along that well. In fact, Jordan kind of throws A-Rod under the bus a bit. Interestingly enough, the whole conversation (ending with the L-bomb drop, which was MUCH better received than Alex’s) seemed much more genuine than most of what Jordan has delivered up to this point. The connection between he and Jojo remains strong, and his frontrunner status (despite what Robbie will try and tell you) is cemented a little more.

But once again, no Aaron Rodgers next week. Just Luke Rodgers, another guy that looks enough like Aaron Rodgers to freak you out ever so slightly when you see him.

The Jordan hating by the other guys continues to ramp up. Chase and Luke are the chief instigators this week after James Taylor’s flame out last week. Chase’s whole thing is that he’s super serious about Jojo, life, really everything. His assertion that girls want someone with a “normal job” is laughable. I guess that explains why movie stars never get laid. Can anyone honestly say they think it would be fun to be in a relationship with Chase? In general, the tattling and backstabbing has been very ineffective during Jojo’s reign as The Bachelorette. Why they think it would start to work now is unclear.

Jojo has to get Jordan’s tongue out of her mouth long enough to go on a group date with Robbie, Chase, and James Taylor. Turns out it’s going to be an indoor recess kind of day, with the rain canceling the Cirque Du Soleil skydiving or whatever nonsense they likely had planned. It seems like they are kind of just making these activities up on the spot. Kind of fun. Robbie streaks down the hall, the guys all massage each other, and James Taylor eats a ton of French fries. James Taylor sort of pulls off another of his mini-sabotages by insinuating that Robbie is looking at other women. James seems to subscribe to the mantra of “can’t beat ‘em, at least make yourself look like an ass”.

Robbie has a hard time convincing anyone (including himself it seems) that he’s fully over his ex. That may be a sticking point later on. Chase seems to be surprised to find out he has feelings. Not surprised he has feelings toward Jojo, just that he has feelings at all. He seems to be figuring it out on camera. I can’t wait to meet his parents next week, who I assume are a computer programmer and a machinist that couldn’t have their own children so they made a robot boy named Chase. James Taylor seems to have a reserved parking spot waiting for him in the friend zone. Jojo “appreciates” him. Woof, that’s cold.

Robbie says he “isn’t cocky enough to say he’s the frontrunner”. Interesting. Seems like that’s about the only thing he says. He says it constantly. He seems to really subscribe to the idea of self-fulfilling prophesies where if he says it enough it will become true. Maybe he just recently read “The Secret”. Maybe being obsessed about whether you are the frontrunner or not is a swimmer thing? Who knows. But he gets the rose, so his self-perceived frontrunner status is reinforced.

Luke does a good job mixing his denims on his one on one date. Great start. Damn, this date is right in his wheelhouse: horses and guns. Of course the veteran is straight up dusting those clays. On top of an advantageous date, Luke displayed his other talent: spewing word garbage out of his mouth and somehow stringing it into something sincere and relatable to Jojo. He is one of the most ineffectively effective communicators I have seen. Which is working out just fine, this is not Toastmasters.

For this week’s rose ceremony they don’t even really try to make it seem like anyone other than Chase or James Taylor will be eliminated. When the dust settles it’s James Taylor who will be headed home. This season they have done a pretty good job of telegraphing who will be eliminated by exposing their flaw a week ahead of time. They did it with Derek and his confrontation, and now James Taylor and the weird poker fight. Next week the bell likely tolls for Chase.

Eliminated

Alex- He will be remembered as the Chad-slayer, and not too much more. For a couple episodes it looked like he was going to be the new villain, but the field was getting too narrow for Jojo to keep him around.

James Taylor- Yeah, really more of a friend than a love connection. It was time. Being excessively nice and playing a little guitar did not put him in the same league as the remaining guys. And towards the end not only did JT know it, he wouldn’t shut up about it.

Power Rankings

Jordan- He’s cruising. Distancing himself from brother Aaron Rodgers actually seems to have made him more powerful. He essentially rejected the thing that everyone knows him for. Pretty bold.

Luke- He’s bringing it right now. This was a strong week for him. He’s right there on Jordan’s level and it seems obvious it will come down to these two. Luke, with his backstory in tow, seems like the most likely future Bachelor if he comes up short with Jojo.

Robbie- Still has that manufactured confidence. But the fact that it’s manufactured is what keeps from being the true frontrunner. The issue with his ex that was revealed this week will probably oust him down the line.

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